The only thing more delicious than chocolate is discovering all the things you love about your new beau; it’s no coincidence that chocolate is the lubricant of choice during courtship. Case in point: I asked my boyfriend, who was your fantasy girl growing up? Was it Ann-Margaret? Ginger? Jeannie?
Rich thought about it for a couple of seconds and replied dreamily, “Rose Marie.”
Jackpot! Any man who would go on record as saying Sally Hayes from “The Dick Van Dyke Show” was his guilty secret is a keeper. What's not to love? Had I but known, I would have skipped the flirtatious chit-chat on Match.com, climbed through the computer and grabbed him on the spot.
It was only a matter of time before my friends wanted to meet this mysterious man with the Jeremy Irons good looks and East Coast lilt to his voice. (Let the ladies with the PBS tote bags swoon over some Brit-twit’s posh accent - just give me Joizee or fuggedaboudit.) We‘ll be there, I RSVP-mailed to a pool party invite; little did my poor boyfriend know what he was in for.
When we arrived, Rich discovered all the gals were wearing matching black velveteen bows in their hair, a la Sally Hayes, courtesy of a special package sent to Lynnie’s house ahead of time (velveteen and bobby pins are surprisingly light and did not set me back much in the way of postage). One by one, each of my giggling female friends pointed out the decorations in her coiffure.
“Hey, Buddy, whaddaya think?” some of them demanded, Rose-Marie-ishly.
“Cute. Yeah. Sally Hayes. I get it,” Rich replied with an indulgent smile.
After a dozen or so of these, Rich said, “Hey, all this sexy talk of Rose Marie is distracting me from my dinner. Do ya mind?”
No, we didn’t mind at all. In fact, we all had a good laugh, and my friends liked him just fine. They liked it even more when he turned to me as we were leaving and announced rather loudly, "Hey, Steph: they're not as bad as you said."
It’s not only great to discover things you love about your beloved - it’s also fun when the world can see it, too.
But paws off this one, girls, or I'll demonstrate uses for velveteen bows you can't even imagine.
When it comes to her man, Rose Marie don't mess around.